How the Behavior of Anxious Mother moulds the Mentality and Personality of the Child ?

The anxious mother masking her own insecurities and fears in the disguised form of carefulness cripples the personality of her own child making the child suffer from deep sense of insecurity and inferiority complex for his or her whole life. In most mothers the caring attitude towards their own offspring is compensatory mechanism for their own insecurities and fears.

The anxious mother masking her own insecurities and fears in the disguised form of carefulness cripples the personality of her own child making the child suffer from deep sense of insecurity and inferiority complex for his or her whole life. In most mothers the caring attitude towards their own offspring is compensatory mechanism for their own insecurities and fears.

The behavior of anxious mother is worse than even a step mother as far as the Moulding of the personality of her children or offspring is concerned. Such a mother transfers her worrisome, anxious and neurotic nature to the child; detrimental to the growth and development of child. The child develops into shy, timid, introverted, and depressed kind of adult personality. His level of confidence, the backbone of one’s personality, is minimal and he finds it difficult to cope with the environment and face challenges, problems and realities of life single handedly. Fear of failure and not to take challenges is en grafted on his psyche.

Many a time he may withdraw from the active life to dull life of inactivity and taciturnity. He starts desiring company of others for moral support and help even to accomplish trivial businesses of life. The mother becomes his crutch without with he can not move or walk. Such dependency cripples his physical and mental health. Inferiority complex of incapability is en grafted on her psyche. Many a weakness/ inadequacies develop in his psyche. He becomes mentally wreck. All endeavors of mother for the safety and security of her child prove counter productive. The mother is doing all for the safety and security of her child never realizing the psychological damages and dangers hidden in her approach. Such anxious mother is exactly the opposite of inspiring mother.

What is the definition of anxious mother? Or what is a anxious mother? Why the anxious mother cares and worries so much for the safety and security of her child? Actually this is the expression of psychotic miasm on her mental plane and she could not help it. Anxiousness is great mental trait of he personality of a typical psychotic person Anxiousness, cautiousness, carefulness, winsomeness all are attached and in a way and are synonymous words. These are different emotions having different shades but same broad based one meaning. Broadly speaking these terms seem to signify or suggest one meaning of caring type attitude. But this caring is mask of internal insecurity. It is the compensatory device of the anxious mother to cover up her internal inadequacies and insecurities. To be anxious to something and to care something are two different situations or two altogether different planes of mind. Careful and attentive mother is entirely different from anxious mother. Carefulness is positive trait and attitude of life or aspects of one’s personality which is devoid of even an iota of anxiousness or anxiety. As contrast to it anxiousness is highly negative trait and attitude of life. It is negative trait of one’s personality. Carefulness is Psoric trait whereas anxiousness is psychotic trait.

The connotation of word anxious denotes many things namely fearfulness, uncertainty, negativity, pessimism, inadequacy, weakness, fragility etc. The anxious mother has deep sense of fearfulness and insecurity than safety, caring and security of the child. She is obsessively attached or selfishly attached to the child that is why she is possessively anxious. She is not compassionate mother like phos at all. Playing a game not to loose the match of life; than playing with zeal to win the match of life are all together; two different attitudes and options of life. The aim of former is safety and the aim of second is adventure. The anxious mother and child belong to first category.

The people who do not know a.b.c. of psychology consider anxious mother to be very caring /compassionate and attentive type of mom. But the psychological position is actually entirely opposite to such prevailing thinking in society. When a person becomes anxious? One becomes anxious only when one is faced with the feelings/sense of danger and fear internally. This fear and danger shakes his whole frame of mind and body. That is why one starts trembling and shivering internally in sensing dangerous situation. So the anxious mother is actually nervous mother..

Nervousness is never a positive attitude in life. An anxious mother is nervous mother and his nerves are always on the endings. She apprehends constant trouble and problem with the child sensing and fearing certain calamites/ uncertainties in her psyche about the child, she goes on forbidding child from doing certain things and goes on instructing and advising to do certain things as she wished in a fixed way. This is again expression of her fixity of mind.’ The psychotic personality is fixed in many things like ceremonies of life to be observed in a certain manner only. He has fixed way of working. “Do not go there. Don’t go outside, you’ll catch a cold, something will happen to you. Do not do this and that, mind it, catch my figure and go along with me, be careful, and return early my son” such types of instructional and dictatorial phrases leave a deep imprint of insecurity on the child psychology. Such attitude of anxious mothers inculcates in the psyche of child a negative attitude of life like, “the universe, nature and society is too dangerous and thorny to be explored; the safety lies in shunning this exploration “.

Everyone has worries, problems and cares in one’s life that may overcome one once in a while. But when worrying becomes excessive and neurotic and starts overruling the psyche of the concerned person than it start to affect the people around them in a big negative way. In such a state of mind one is tempted to make choices based on fear rather than rational cautiousness. The always worrying attitude of life is not healthy; neither for the subject nor for the people around such persona’s for relatives and friends..

It is very difficult for her to have separation from her child. She is very possessive of her child. Again a psychotic personality is very possessive of things. She suffers from nostalgia in the absence of her child. As always wishes the child to play under his supervision and eyes. She keeps a constant vigil on the activities of her child. If the child of such a mother goes to school, college or journey; she is overwhelmed by anticipatory anxieties. Out of these anxieties she even becomes more anxious and restless and goes on calling phones to the child. She thinks or imagines every worst possibility that may happen with the child. She rings the child on minor pretext. She never allows the personality of the child to be developed independently. She keeps the child under her constant vigil or observation in a way very similar to hen hatching the eggs. The daily and routine life of such sons become more about avoiding risks and never attempting adventurous acts and learning by direct experiences.

These children can not take any challenge in life. A strong sense of incapacity is built in his mind. He has abilities but the child fears to express these abilities. The anxious mother transfers her anxieties to the psyche of child. The child in face of tension , challenge and strife will become tense himself. Sooner or later, the “rescued child “or “egg- shelled child” is bound to develop his own tense reactions to stressful situations, becoming more anxious than her mother even. Thus by playing havoc and creating vacuum in the personality of her own kid, the anxious mother zeroes the potential capabilities hidden in the personality of the child.

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