Factors That Determine Whether a Break up Can Work Out

Can a Relationship Work after a Break up?

Factors That Determine Whether a Break up Can Work Out
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There are a number of factors that can determine whether a failed relationship can be revived without leading to another breakup. Most of the revived relationships end in another breakup because of various factors that don't favor them. This article will list such factors so that you can better access whether yours might work out without leading to another breakup.

Some relationships work out after a breakup while some are damaged beyond repair. In the case of damaged relationships that can never be mended even if the exes decide to get back together, another breakup is bound to happen. These relationships were never meant to be. The exes were never meant to be together.

There are various factors which determine if a failed relationship can be restored to its former dynamism as detailed below.

1. Reason for the Breakup

For every relationship that fails, there is a reason behind it. Some of the reasons that lead to the end of a relationship can be justified while others happen because of insignificant reasons.

An example of an insignificant reason is when the dumper ends the relationship because of a simple misunderstanding or disagreement.

If the reason for the breakup is justified, then it is very difficult for the failed relationship to be revived. It is better to let it dead than try to bring it back to life. Once you revive it, you will end up in the same situation - breakup.

If the dumper ended the relationship on a reasonable ground, no matter how much the dumpee tries, the two of them can never be together. It will be very difficult for the dumpee to try to get back his ex.

2. The Impact of the Breakup

If the dumper feels he shouldn’t have ended the relationship and wants to get back his ex, then it will be an uphill task. Firstly, it will depend how the dumpee feels about the dumper and the reason the dumper gave for ending the relationship. Secondly, it will depend how much the dumpee has been affected as a result of the reason of the dumper to end the relationship. No matter how much the dumper tries, the dumpee wouldn’t want anything to do with the dumper.

If the dumpee feels betrayed or the dumper’s reason for ending the relationship is inexplicable, the failed relationship is better dead than alive.

3. Length of the Relationship

People become strongly attached emotionally when they know each other for a lengthy period of time. The more people get used to each other, the more emotionally bonded they become. This explains why exes take a long time to heal and recover from a breakup. Their relationship spanned a lengthy period thus they became strongly bonded together. In addition, it illustrates why it’s easier for the exes to get back together than the exes who barely know each other.

4. The Mode of Breakup

How did the dumper end the relationship? Which attitude did he display when delivering the message he no longer wants to be in the relationship? Which choice of words did he use? How was his posture when delivering the bad news of wanting to end the relationship? Which tone did he use?

It determines a lot how the dumper acted. If there was no graciousness in his being when delivering the ‘breaking news’ - ending the relationship, the dumper wouldn’t want to be in another relationship with her ex. The dumpee would have noted one or two things he never knew about the dumper. This realization will make him avoid another relationship with the dumper.

5. The Manner of the Breakup

Was there are a lot of drama during the breakup? Was there exchange of words? If indeed there was drama during the breakup, it’s without no doubt the failed relationship can never be brought back to its former glory. If both or one of the exes went overboard in the way he/she reacted, it will be hard for the two to reconcile. Even if it happens they get back together, the revived relationship may not survive in the long run. In addition, if drama was manifested it will affect one or both of the exes negatively. One or both of them will be affected emotionally and both of them or either one of them wouldn’t want to get back with his/her ex.

While the above factors play a role in determining whether a relationship will work out after a breakup, sometimes it’s hard to know whether a failed relationship can be revived. Some relationships are very complicated once they hit the rock - break up - it’s very difficult for the failed relationship to work out again. On the other hand, a relationship that ended on a bad note – damaged beyond repair – can be revived without ending in another breakup. Some factors will have favored the failed relationship making it possible for the exes to reunite without another breakup occurring.

It is very hard for some failed relationships to work out when you consider:

  • The purpose of a person wanting to engage in the relationship. What was the reason for the person wanting to be in a relationship with another person before the breakup? Did the person want to engage in the relationship because he was lonely? Did he feel left out because his friends got married?
  • If one of the exes is a love addict.
  • If one or both of the exes is exercising No Contact rule. If it is the case, the failed relationship can work out or not.
  • If one of the exes needs a break from the breakup. The ex does love his other significant ex and wants to get back with his ex as does his ex wants to get back with him but he wants some time off. He wants some time to ponder, contemplate and reflect. After the contemplation time he may decide to get back or not.
  • The influence of a family and/or friends will determine to a greater extent if the failed relationship will work out. If one of the exes listens to the urging of her family member(s) and/or friends not to get back with her ex; no matter how hard the other one tries, it will be fruitless.
  • Whether you are needy and/or desperate. If it’s the case it will be very hard for your ex to want to get back with you. No person wants to be in a relationship with somebody who is needy or desperate. Even if the two of you get back together the revived relationship won’t survive. Being needy or desperate will revive the past problems that cropped up before the breakup or new problems will occur which will cause rifts in the relationship.
  • After the breakup if your ex began seeing another person the possibility of the failed relationship working out is slim. Also, if your ex was seeing another man before the breakup the failed relationship might not work out. If it works out, it might survive or not.
  • Lastly, if you or your ex hasn't changed before the two of you get together, then the possibility of the revived relationship surviving is very slim. Before getting together each of the exes need to ponder or reflect on the reasons why the relationship failed and if there are changes as regards to his/her behavior/attitude that needs to be rectified or worked upon.

In conclusion, two advices remain: Try your luck or stop looking back. If you try your luck then there’s the possibility of the two of you getting back together. It’s possible but statistics show only a small number of the revived relationships work out satisfactorily. This indicates it’s very difficult for a broken relationship to work out. The other advice is to forget to try to get back your ex. You shouldn’t cry over spilt milk when it’s possible to buy another one from the shop. You will get another lover and hopefully it will not end in a bad note. You will love each other to the moon and back.


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It was a lovely read. Falling in love and being loved are the best feelings we can get in life. But at times, even parting ways brings out the best. It can be for any reason. Togetherness might not always work.

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